I decided that the Sunday Night Football match up between the Vikings and the Redskins was worthy of such a commentary. The Vikings need this win, as a loss will drop them behind the Redskins for the last playoff spot. I'm going to do everything I can from my living room in central Illinois to make it happen!
A secondary (and actually more important?) reason for blogging this game: Fantasy Football Championships. I need the Vikes' Defense to score 26 to win my college league. And I need Tavaris Jackson (TJ) to score 22 to win my work league. Neither one is probable, both happening is borderline impossible. I better have a REALLY good running commentary. (I can't believe I'm actually starting TJ. My mainstay QB this season, Favre, was facing bad weather and a tough division rival. I just didn't feel it. He ended up scoring 2, so I was happy I benched him, pending Jackson's final point total.)
Speaking of fantasy football, apparently there's a new curse in town. Watch out for the "Starting-running-backs-won't-score-you-anything-on-Thursday-night-games Curse." In the last three weeks I have started, in order: Adrian Peterson, the lesser (3 pts), Selvin Young (3 pts), and Willie Parker (-.1 pts).
Enough intro, here's how this will work:
Game Clock: Comments while the game is going. Additional comments added after the game.
Pre-Game: I think the most the most disappointing aspect of Sunday Night Football is there theme music. I realize that Monday Night Football's theme is impossible to beat, but I can't even remember SNF's theme, even though I just heard it at the beginning of this paragraph.
Ooh, it just said that "Geoff Butler" is the technical director for tonight. Good! I expect a great show from Geoff.
The temperature in the Metrodome? 70 degrees Farenheit. Is it bad that my best reason to hope in TJ is the temperature?
Madden likes Joe Gibbs. (Does he like his double timeouts?)
Commercial break: Good news! This is still 'our country!'
1st Quarter
14:00: I just took a break to sing my son to sleep. It looks like the Redskins went three and out. Yes!
13:02: TJ threw an interception. That's no good. Fred Smoot picked him off. He's one of the love boat guys who brought the Vikings franchise into the immorality cellar. I really don't like him. For the record, I'm not placing all the blame on Smoot. Most of the blame probably rests with the organization as a whole. I'll write on that whole incident in a later article.
11:52: Pat Williams is huge.
11:04: Gibbs just mouthed 'Go for it!' I hope they run the ball.
10:51: Touchdown by the Redskins! My son just cried from his room. Don't worry son! There's a challenge by Childress.
Commercial break: "They are who we thought they were!" That's probably the funniest of the Coors commercials. Too bad it's about beer.
The ruling on the field was overturned. No touchdown! The Vikings (and my two fantasy football teams) have life!
10:43: A safety!? Oh this stinks! I'm headed for two fantasy football losses. (At least I'll have an excuse to play again next year. My wife should buy that reason!) And if I do win both leagues, I can always convince her to let me try to win three leagues next year!
Commercial break: Is it bad that I don't recognize anybody on Celebrity Apprentice? I'll admit I don't watch much TV. But seriously, I don't know any of those faces! None!
9:44: After five minutes, it appears that the Redskins' best strategy is to give the Vikings offense the ball.
8:46: They just flashed the 'Vikings give up the most passing yards" stat. I think that's an overstated fact. Teams don't try to run on them, so of course there will be more passing yards against them. It's like saying the Patriots are a poor team because Maroney is 22nd among running backs. Maroney has low rushing numbers because the Patriots throw all the time. Is anyone with me on this?
7:24: Todd Collins (benched for 10 years) is making Kyle Orton look really bad. He's completed 3 big passes already, about the number of passes Orton completed all game last Monday.
I just heard a reference to John Madden kayaking. How big would that kayak have to be?
7:13: The Vikings almost turned it over again. You heard it from me first: Even if this team makes the playoffs, they will take an early exit. They are too turnover prone. Okay, probably not FIRST, as most people don't think the Vikings will even make the playoffs.
6:13: Did the Vikings prepare at all for this game?
5:17: The Vikings are still looking for their first 1st down.
2:55: The Vikes first 1st down comes 12 minutes into the game.
2:19: The Redskins are just smothering Adrian Peterson. He's barely made it past the line of scrimmage.
0:44: TJ is killing my fantasy team and the Vikings reality team. And after a missed field goal the Vikes are still getting shut out.
0:39: So the Redskins get it on the 43. Gah! I wish I could scream, but my son is sleeping.
Commercial: The 'unstoppable' Eli Manning commercial is too much! He's completely stoppable! Have you watched his games? Pick a new athlete.
2nd Quarter
11:47: Another great defensive stand by the Vikings. I wonder if they realize they will have to win this game for the Vikings. Maybe they do, as they just buried the snapper on that field goal.
10:04: Nice catch of another shaky TJ throw.
9:45: Fumble! Seriously, just keep the offense on the sideline.
9:39: At least its enjoyable watching the Vikings defense, the offense is making me sick.
7:54: Case in point as TJ commits another turnover. He was jumping when he threw. I know you should throw without jumping, and I've played exactly zero minutes of organized football. (And even less as a a QB.)
7:43: Now the defense is terrible to watch! Collins just threw a TD to Moss. My first misgivings have started. I think I may never do a running commentary again.
7:40: I'm left speechless after another near turnover.
6:44: Sad realization- TJ is not the future QB of the Vikings. I revise my statement on this later.
4:17: A punt! Yes! (At least it's better than an interception.)
2:15: I'd take Collins as the Vikings' QB. Heck, I'd take their 3rd stringer, Mark Brunell.
1:19: The Vikings can come back from 16-0. If the Redskins score, I'm not so sure they'll mount a comeback from 23-0. The defense looks tired from playing too much. The Redskins are making it look easy.
0:49: I just found out they've played a Superbowl in the Metrodome before. The Redskins defeated the Bills. Superbowl 26. And as recent as 1992, I'm guessing there's a reason they've never come back to Minnesota for a Superbowl. (Probably many reasons!)
0:44: 22-0. The Vikings don't deserve to win this game.
Halftime: The Vikings aren't going to win this game; they've laid an egg. Ditto for my college and work fantasy teams. This stinks! I guess I should have known not to put so much thought into sports on the Lord's day. The brightest spot for the Vikings in the last 30 minutes? They just mentioned that some of them are donating money to charity.
3rd Quarter
14:54: I'm saying a quick prayer for Sellers. He's not moving after taking a huge hit on the kickoff return. Praise the Lord, he walked off on his own after the commercial break.
14:08: Peterson's first real run! Let's do this!
12:08: Here's the game. The Vikings have a 4th and 1 on the 47.
11:45: Game over. Peterson got stuffed. Turnover on downs. This gets more and more depressing.
11:01: "TJ has to get going," says John Madden. Uh John, I think he needed to get going two quarters back.
8:42: I hate that my favorite team just gives up. Seriously, the Vikings are not even trying anymore. They would make terrible missionaries. Even though the Timberwolves are terrible (like REALLY bad), I enjoy watching them because they keep trying!
7:34: This game is proving my concern about the Vikings 5 game win streak. They just stuck it to lesser opponents. Their 5 victories came against the Raiders, Giants, Niners, Lions, and Bears. Only one of those teams has a winning record. And that victory over the Giants was handed to them on a silver platter by Eli Manning.
6:52: 25-0. Alright, they need 4 touchdowns. And my fantasy teams need the defense to get 2 and TJ to get 2. (Not a chance!)
6:48: Did Allison even try to run that kick back? Try, try, try, just do something!
6:20: They're now blowing the 'Vikings Horn' for first down plays. I guess the stadium technical team knows there won't be any touchdowns this game. Maybe they should just use it if we score a field goal.
5:10: For all my whining about the Vikings, I should say that the Redskins are playing well. The offense is moving the ball. I'm not too impressed by their pass defense (because anyone can stop TJ at this point), but they are stacking and stuffing the line consistently.
4:24: Commerical- I'm intrigued by the 'G2' commercial for Gatorade. Tell me more!
4:07: The Vikings are in the Red Zone. Please score.
3:06: Ferguson actually looked like he was giving some extra effort on the reach for the end zone. It's about time someone looked like they were expending themselves to win.
3:00: TJ scored a TD! Are my hopes rekindled? (NO!) I don't even want to start dreaming of a come back. But wow, they had nine pass plays on that drive. At this point my view on TJ has started to turn.
2:53: A recovered onside kick!! No way!! And a Redskins player lost a helmet on the play. How sweet is that? Whatever happens, at least I'm interested in the game again.
2:04: Is there anything more depressing than a 3 and out after a recovered onside kick? That's the second time I've seen that this season. Your team is pretty much doomed if you can't turn a recovered onside kick into a score.
4th Quarter
14:44: The Vikings need 3 TDs to win. I just heard 'the horn' for a 15 yard Redskins penalty. Seriously, let's just blow the thing if we run a 3 and out. We can celebrate that we didn't turn it over.
13:23: That was a really funny shot of a ref getting a massage. Hilarious the more you think about it. Unfortunately I couldn't find a picture of it on the Internet.
11:12: TJ is showing us something. If he played like this all game I think I would feel a lot better right now.
10:18: TJ's 2nd TD. Now, do you try another onside kick? Apparently not.
I should pause to mention I've been eating some really good cookies throughout the game. (Made by my loving wife).
10:13: It's funny that they've been advertising all the 'new' TV shows now that the writer's strike is over. Try watching football America, it's the real reality TV.
9:01: Did he catch it? A Vikings fumble recovery? What's happening?
8:58: Yes! Oh no! A challenge from Gibbs. 12 men? Note: Those 7 phrases were my actual train of thought. Followed by this somewhat coherent line:
The heights of victory and the agony of defeat all in a 3 second span of the game clock.
5:50: I keep cycling through emotions of denial, despair, and hope.
5:06: Betts scored a TD. Total despair!
3:34: Maybe TJ can throw for one more touchdown and give me a fantasy win. Okay, apparently not total despair. At least fantasy football gives you a reason to keep watching.
2:18: The Vikings are driving. If TJ scores, this whole ordeal (it's no longer a commentary) can be redeemed.
2:04: After a terrible throw, my fantasy team's chances are saved by a pass interference call!
1:58: TJ's 3rd TD! One fantasy football win in the books! This whole Thicket commentary might be worth it!
But the Vikings will need Washington to lose to Dallas next week. The Dallas team that will be sitting Romo and TO.
1:30: My first Vikings mascot sighting of the night. And hopefully the last. My wife: "He looks like he belongs on a Capital One commercial." Do you agree?0:56: They just showed a clip of a blowtorch melting snow off the field in the old Metropolitan Stadium. How cool is that? No wonder these Vikings are terrible. No blow torch!
End Game: Speaking of blow, these Vikings did. But I did get a fantasy football championship thanks to TJ's 2nd half heroics. I had a 33% completion of the goals mentioned. Not bad for my first commentary. I'll look to improve next time.
Here's my take on TJ. He'll never ever be a Manning or Brady. He'll probably never be a McNabb. Hopefully someday he'll rise above the level of Kordell Stewart. But at this point, with the state of QB in the NFL, what options do the Vikings have? Yes, they should try to draft a decent QB. But they're going to have to ride TJ through next season by default. And after the second half of this game, I think I'll give him the chance.
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