Twins Football Dream Team

There are many perks to being a husband to a pregnant wife. I've found this out.

You get to enjoy the excitement about the coming addition to the family. Since your wife needs to eat more often (to avoid getting nauseous) you have an open door to snack right along with her throughout the day (and night). After the delivery nice people bring you all sorts of great meals.

But there is one perk that I enjoyed the most: Hearing my wife's crazy dreams. Every morning a got to wake up to a description of of nocturnal adventure which bordered on the insane. I loved it!

My favorite of the dreams was the one where we attended a 'Twins Football game.' Don't gloss over that, because I did when she first said it. As she described the dream, (the Twins were playing behind a chain link fence and we were sitting in plastic lawn chairs) I started thinking that this idea had some merit. The Vikings are just a shade above mediocre right now and they almost made the playoffs. What if we add some Twins players to their roster? I think that would help. They both play in the same stadium right now anyway. How close are the locker rooms? This could work.

Here are my thoughts on roster positions after perusing the Twins current roster on ESPN.com. Obviously this could change dramatically and instantaneously with a Johan Santana trade.

The first thing that jumps out at me is Boof Bonser's weight. I didn't really expect to find any potential lineman in this group. 260 pounds? I think in this case (and lucky for him) the TV camera takes away a few. That's pretty big. He might be the only one that qualifies, so I'll have him anchor my offensive line by having him hold down the Center position. His main qualification being his name. Boof just fits a lineman. It's what people say when they run into each other: "BOOF!" Perfect for the line of scrimmage.

Obviously you would expect the quarterback to come from the pitching rotation. This is a tough decision, especially since I'm leaving about both Santana and Liriano. They're both great pitchers, but I can't see them playing quarterback. Nope, I'm taking 6'4" 220 lb Joe Nathan as my starting quarterback. There's several reasons for this: 1) Nathan is clutch at the end of games; who better to lead a 4th quarter comeback drive? 2) He's big and wouldn't get tackled easily. 3) He's got a great quarterback name. What do all these plain names have in common: Steve, Tom, John, Dan, and Joe? They're all great quarterbacks. And what do the names Rex, Brooks, Tavaris, and Brodie all have in common? The plainer the name, the better the QB. (There are some obvious exceptions here, but we'll roll with it.

I also think I'd take Pat Neshek as my back up QB. Anybody who can throw a better sidearm than Brett Favre is okay in my book.

Joe Mauer would be my top pick for running back on this revamped football team. As a whole, catchers have the most physically demanding position. They are constantly up and down, not to mention getting constantly pelted with baseballs and bat fragments. Mauer could definitely handle the 'smashmouth' running back roll.

So we've got a center, 2 QB's and a RB on the team so far. We need just a few more so we can at least field a playground team. Did I mention that they Football Twins play behind a chain link fence?

Justin Morneau seems like a natural tight end: big, strong, and athletic. In fact, I think he could probably help out the Vikings in that position. At least you could pronounce his name. I still don't know how to say Visanthe Shiancoe. Did I even spell that right?

I know there are many more possibilities, but I'll end with this one: Who better to play the head case wide receiver than recently acquired Delmon Young? He is used to running the outfield, so he'll be perfect for the deep route. (I have to admit that I have mixed feelings about Young on the Twins. I like the skills he brings to the table, but I have always cherished the classiness of the Twins organization. I hope he doesn't tarnish it.)

In researching for this article, I found that the Vikings depth chart on ESPN.com is grossly inaccurate. Does Tavaris Jackson back up behind Koy Detmer? What about Adrian Peterson behind Chester Taylor AND Mewelde Moore? And on special teams: Is Brad Johnson really still the second string holder? I looked at a few other teams, and they seemed to be accurate. I guess ESPN has no love for the Vikings. Check out your favorite team and tell me if anything is amiss.

Speaking of the NFL, I have to again pick the favorites this weekend. I'll continue to cheer against the Patriots, but know that they're going to win. It's getting tougher to pick against the Giants, but you're foolish if you won't take Favre and the Packers at Lambeau in the playoffs. (The Giants scare me because two years ago I picked against the Steelers every week in the playoffs. You might remember what happened. I've taken the Buccaneers and the Cowboys this year. Oh boy. Eli can thank me later.)